What Are The Latest Accessories College Students Are Bringing To School? Their Parents!
BY JOE SCHUMACHER
The Eagle
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The helicopter parent phenomenon is being felt at universities across the nations, and Texas A&M is no exception. For those unfamiliar with the term, 'Helicopter Parents' refers to parents of college students who, from time to time have more dealings with student advisors and professors than their children do.
“It is a problem we have seen an increase of in the last five to seven years. It is interesting because in situations where we used to see just the student, more and more often we are seeing the family coming in as a unit,” Dr. Don Curtis, Associate Dean of Liberal Arts said. “It is the ‘soccer parent’ mentality that has evolved, and we are dealing with the parents more than the students sometimes.”
The Millenials.
As the next generation is being called, were taught everyone is a winner and everyone’s feelings are important. In little league sports, everyone got a trophy. Children that misbehaved were reasoned with, not disciplined, as to preserve their self-esteem. This protection from failure has created some hurdles in the transition from child to adult that is supposed to occur in college.
“We try to emphasize the fact that parents are not paying for a degree, they are paying for an education,” Dr. Curtis said. “In the ‘real world’ sometimes the answer is ‘no.’ It can be an educational experience for the parents as well as the students, who aren’t used to hearing that word either. Sometimes we all make wrong decisions; however, if a mistake is learned from it is still a valuable experience. Part of college is becoming the person you are going to be for the rest of your life, and part of that is how you deal with problems like getting a ‘D’, failing a class, or having roommate problems.”
Technology is an integral part of the Millenial/Helicopter Parent relationship. The Millenial generation grew up with cell phones, Internet, email, instant messaging and other advances in communication. Their parents invented and implemented these advances into society, the workplace and home.
“If a student had a bad day in class, it used to be they had to at least walk back to their room and had some time to calm down before they could get on the phone,” Dr. Curtis said. “Nowadays, the students are on their cell phone as soon as they hit the door at the end of class. The other side is the parents are also technologically savvy with the communication technology. The communication isn’t one-sided.”
Academics can become a battleground between schools and helicopter parents.
“We tend to hear from parents after grades are released if their students are put on academic probation or dismissed from the college. However, under the Federal Education Rights and Privacy Act, we are not allowed to give grades to family members unless the student authorizes it in writing,” Dr. Curtis said. “With tuition rising, it is something we have to be sensitive to. Many parents feel they have the right to know their students grades since they are the ones paying the bills. However, that is between the parents and the student.”
Another source that draws fire from helicopter parents can be the living arrangements of on-campus students. Ron Sasse, Director of Residence Life, is responsible for all of the residence halls except for the Corps of Cadets and Graduate student family living areas, said he has also seen an increase in the last few years of parental involvement in what used to be a student’s affair.
“It used to be parents of first and second year students who would call us,” he said. “Now it is not uncommon for parents of seniors to call up and request assistance with issues or concerns on behalf of their son or daughter . Some parents have even contacted us to ask if we will be sure that their student gets up for class. Some parents have the misconception our staff does a nightly bed check or chaperones visits from the opposite sex. There are certainly some private schools that may be that restrictive, but that is not what we do.”
Sasse said in dealing with Helicopter Parents, his goal is to get refocused on the student.
“We take information from the parent, and then try our best to work directly with the student,” he said. “It is important to allow the parent the opportunity to be heard and know that action will be taken, but once aware of the situation, we try to shift the emphasis from parent to student. Sometimes the student isn’t even aware the parent called, and they are apologetic. We like to solve problems at the lowest level and feel that is best for everyone. Sometimes when parents get involved the problem goes from the top down, and that can sometimes create an extra challenge for the residence hall staff.”
The Helicopter Parents phenomena presents an interesting challenge to Texas A&M, given that the “first tier” of the Aggie Network is family in general, parents in particular.
The Department of Student Life oversees everything from new student orientation to academic and conduct disciplinary actions.
Dr. Carol Binzer, Director of the Department of Student Life said, “Our experience is things work out better for everyone when the parents feel we are working with them, not against them. Student Life is the Aggie connection and we try to get parents to come through us for what they need to help their students develop. However we try to discourage parents taking care of business for their students, but we appreciate parent’s interest and support of their students.”
Like the parents and students, the university has also taken advantage of technology to stay in touch with parents. There are websites available through the university, downloadable publications and a listserv that sends out information to 1100 people containing information for parents of Texas A&M students. Newsletters are sent to parents with information ranging from preparing students for their first semester to activities going on at the university to athletics.
“Back when I went to college, I wouldn’t have let my parents come to orientation with me,” she said. “Nowadays, close to 85 percent of the incoming freshmen have at least one family member with them. We under-
stand that parents who are not here want to know about their students. One interesting thing is many college administrators are the same age as the parents of the students. I think we understand the parent’s mentality and desire to help their student. Most of us identify quite closely with the parent, and sometimes we don’t get credit for that.”
While a growing trend, currently the metaphorical skies above Texas A&M are not black with helicopter parents.
“The Helicopter parents are still a minority, and 99 percent of the time it is not an issue. We encourage parents to be partners in their students’ education while understanding that it is their students who need to solve problems they encounter. The time it is, we are usually able to resolve the problem without anyone’s feelings being hurt. They are one of just many issues we are dealing with today,” Dr. Curtis said.
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